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Little-Known Facts About the Democrat Primary March 11, 2004 By James L. Hirsen, J.D., Ph.D. contributor to Newsmax.com Did you know that... John Kerry was considering choosing Hillary Clinton as a running mate until one of his staffers gave him a postcard of Fort Marcy Park. When John Edwards talks about two Americas, he's really talking about the one that's inside the ambulance and the one that's chasing it. Dennis Kucinich declined an endorsement from Pee Wee Herman. Rumors about John Kerry using botox are false. He does, however, have his mouth regularly washed out with soap. A rancher in Texas made the mistake of having his radio on during Howard Dean's Iowa speech. His herd was last seen stampeding in Southern Venezuela. After leaving the race, Carol Moseley Braun landed a gig in Vegas as a Tina Turner impersonator. One of John Kerry's speechwriters was let go for including in a prepared text the line "the economy's in a lurch." Wesley Clark has been hired as a spokesman for the National Fiber Council. The Queer Eye guys went to do a makeover on John Edwards and found out there was nothing to do. Despite being around people in the 1970s who took psychedelic drugs at anti-war protests, John Kerry says he tried them but never swallowed. To get Howard Dean to drop out of the race, Donald Trump was persuaded to call him on his cell and say, "You're fired." John Kerry has abandoned his "Bring It On" slogan and is now muttering the words "I Take It Back." Reproduced with the permission of NewsMax.com . All rights reserved Copyright © 2004 James L. Hirsen, J.D., Ph.D. All Rights Reserved